I made three calls.  Remember the power of three?  One was to my beloved sister; one to an old friend back in Michigan who I’d not talked with in months; and finally to a new guy I’d met recently.  Nothing fancy, just checking in and wishing them well into the new year.

Three emails (notwithstanding the dozens that go out each day) where  also sent to people I’d not been in touch with for awhile.  Again, simply wishing them well and reminding them of how important they are to me.

Finally, two emails of appreciation to a couple of fellow bloggers who I’ve been following from afar for some time.  I let each of them know how much I admire their work, how informative their blogs are, and finally letting them know how important they are to me.  Sense a theme here?  Just the act of telling another how important they are to us is enough to, well, let them know we appreciate them……just as they are.

Ok, fine, my task is done.  Little did I know the unexpected outcomes of these very intentional actions.

First off there where two phone calls from people out of my past, back in Michigan.  Reconnecting and saying I was on their minds, wondering what was up with me,  and how I was doing.

Second, and this one really surprised me, and email arrived from a young lad I’d let live with me for short time back in 1991.  He left unexpectedly when I found out he’d been letting ‘his fingers do the walking’, and more, on the 800 sex lines….on my dime, well, more than a dime, trust me.

Apparently a tune on the radio had brought back memories for him of my kindness allowing him to live with me and he wanted to connect, and send me the ‘phone bill’ money he owed me.  Now what an incredible surprise this was!

Finally, in a coffee shop over the weekend a man, at the next table over from a friend and I,  politely interrupted and asked if my name was Ronald.  He then related that he’d heard a paper I’d presented at a conference in New Orleans back in the early 90′s and wanted to tell me how impressed he had been, and is, with my work and commitment to creating a ‘gay ok’ world.  Wow!  Can you believe that?  Almost 20 years ago and there he is was drinking a cup of joe next to me in a coffee shop.  Amazing.

I say all this to remind you, and myself, of the unexpected results of intentional actions.  We simple do not know, nor can ever dream of what our positive reaching out to another will result in.  All it takes is the ‘intentional action’ of a kind word, a reconnection, a simple thought.  Simple, right?

What three intentional actions do you plan to do in your life this week?

Most times these new actions are simple thoughts for a few days.  Fleeting ‘I’ll be better’ in 2009 ruminations.  Pipe dreams with little forethought, planning, execution, or follow thru.  Or these ‘plans’ set us up to beat our selves up.  You know how it goes.  ‘I’m just a (fill in the blank), see I can’t even do this New Years Resolution thing.

Ok, lets try something different.  I’ve three requests of you in this new year.  This is what a Coach does, makes requests,  and I like the power of three since usually one, hopefully all of the three can be accomplished. These requests are not really all that difficult. (Your mileage may vary tho)

#1  Be good to yourself first

• Honor your body: Join a gym, or go back (often) to the one you’re all ready a member of.
• Eat well: Take a look at what you put into your body and incrementally feed yourself in new and better ways.
• Begin thinking in new way: Stop beating yourself for past failings.  Look at today as a new, and only day you have.  Be more positive and when possible, push out those thoughts which don’t serve your wellbeing.
• Nourish your soul: Continue to participate in a form of spirituality which works for you, or recommit to those forms of ‘soul nourishment‘ which worked for you in the past that have drifted out of your life.
• Join a new group, or engage those you’ve been a part of before.  (Book club; meditation group; social activism;  social activities; 12 Step; volunteer for an agency; staff a phone line

#2 Be good to others

• Commit to supporting the friends, relatives, coworkers, and lovers in your life now.  Call someone you’ve lost track of.  Remind all those around you just how important they are to you, and in your life.
• Perform ‘random acts of kindness‘ each and every day.  The joy of these simple acts will bring untold satisfaction into your life, with little or no energy on you part.
• Join a group (see above and add to that list those places where you can make a even a small difference in the life of someone else)

#3  Be good to the earth. Ok, well this one is fairly easy and we’ve all heard what we need to do so I won’t expound my thoughts here.  Simple put, do what you can on a daily basis to preserve our planet.

Alternative #4.  Ok, I said three yet here is a 4th for those of you who are looking for a new guy to share your life with.

This one’s simple, stay tuned.  I’m about to unveil a new website for those who are looking for Mr Right, and the clever one’s in the room have already figured out the name of this new site.  ISOMrRight.com!  How simple is that?

I’ll let you know when it’s ready to be opened up for the visiting public.  The place is a bit busy now with me, a consultant guy, and George the cat moving things around a finding places for all the old stuff.  Stay tuned!

Who are you standing by, supporting, listening to, or simple being there for?

Reach out to them today and let them know you are there for them.  Let them understand how important they are to you.  Stand by them in that special way only YOU can.

Hello Gentle Readers,

Coaching others in the ways of ‘Gay OK’ living is something I’ve been doing for some time.  Blogging is a new beginning.  In the past I’ve created an ongoing weekly e-newsletter which became very popular.  The goal is to do blogging in a similar way, yet with the options of hearing from you and offering information and direction in a more complete way.  Let me know what your thoughts are along the way.

The Journey begins with me, Includes you, and Becomes Us.  Where would you like to go Today?’

Over the years my journey has included:

• Running the family car business (until father got rid of me for being ‘one of those people’)
• Stirring the pot as a gay activist (both back in Michigan and in Washington, DC with NGLTF)
• Founder and initial director of a university GLBT support office (Western Michigan University)
• Co-Founder of KGLRC, a community based GLBT support organization
• Part of a initial group responding to HIV needs in SW Michigan  (CARES)
• Working day and nite before being granted an Masters Degree (MSW)
• Sharing my gifts, experience, and training as a skilled (according to my clients) psychotherapist in the Dupont Circle area of Washington DC
• Followed by a wonderful experience working with clients around the country by telephone as a Life Coach

(Whew, not really a checkered past but close.)

Somewhere along the journey I lost my way, so to speak, and took a wrong turn ending up as a waiter (don’t ask, well you can if you’d like).  Crash, boom, fall down, hit bottom (and my head) where all part of that ‘waiterboy’ experience. A very difficult, and unpleasant time of my life.

One of my ‘alter ego’s’ T. Sean Elliott will tell you more about that someday when he gets his own ‘Recovery Sean’  blog.  (Ok, Ok Sean, we’ll work on a blog for you too really soon.  We know you have a huge backlog of material you’ve written you’re just itching to spring on the world.  But remember T. Sean, it’s not all about you.  Grin )

Ok, where was I, oh, right.  Well gratefully a few angles came my way and steered me in the right direction again…..with the help of a set of ‘Steps’ and the like. So now after some ’24 hours’ it seems the right time to begin to reach out and begin working with some new Coaching Clients again.

This blog will be my way of sharing the tidbits I find along the way as well as my experience.   Here are some of the things I hope to share with you, and I hope you share with others too.

• Being Gay OK
• Coming out, initially and ongoing.  Progress not perfection
• Preparing for Mr Right (the PIPES model)
• Attracting Mr Right (hand over eyes)
• Relationship Development and Enhancement (or what to do after Mr Right finds you)
• Sexuality and Sex (you know I’d go there, right)
• Mentoring Gay Youth (my two gay nephew’s call me their ‘Fairy God Father’)
• Individual Coaching (me here, you there, a long stretchie phone wire between us)
• Group Coaching (me here, you all around the country sharing your experience with the group after raising your hand to speak, same long stretchie phone wires, just more of them)

Ok, well that seems to be it for now…or is it?  Oh, right, one more thing.   This blog thing is new to me so with any luck you’ll see a vast improvement in the coming days….or months…depending upon the learning curve.  Please feel free to leave your comments also, the nice one’s, and I’ll respond back.

Your Gay Coach,

Ronald
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